My husband is worried that he can’t get it up

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 years old and my husband is in his 50s. When he proposed to me, I told him I was not interested in him because my father was in his 60s and would not agree with the union.

He said he would talk to my father. I tried to dismiss the matter, but this man was considered wealthy. He had a beautiful home which I liked. His former wife had died and they only had three children who had all gone to college. I thought that I too would attend college. So when my father told me that this man had spoken to him, and he did not have any doubt in his mind that he would take care of me, I became involved with him. At that time, he was healthy and strong and he used to show me off to his friends.

The first thing he bought for me that was of substance was a car. He was not jealous. I could talk to any of my male friends. He did not question me. He insisted that I cook what he wanted to eat. On Saturdays he would sit by the television and watch sports all day. In recent years, my husband has been diagnosed with diabetes and it is bothering him because he has difficulty in getting an erection. He keeps asking me if I will remain true to him. I told him that he doesn't have to be bothered about that. His doctor has been working with him, but he is still fretting. He reads your column every day, so I am asking you to say a word of encouragement to him.

F.N.

Dear F.N.,

There are millions of men who are diabetic, and many undergo some form of impotence.

I am not surprised to hear that your husband is worried about his condition, but if he continues to fret, his condition will worsen. I am sure that his doctor has told him that having diabetes does not mean that he will not be able to function. There are other things that he can do to get sexual satisfaction from you.

As his wife, you would have to play a greater part in lovemaking; you may have to play with his private part manually until he ejaculates. Your assurance to your husband would make him feel comfortable and wanted. Even when he does not touch you, you should touch him. Please follow the diet that the doctor has put him on. Don't allow him to eat what he should not. There are many happy diabetic men in the world who are functioning well, and their wives should get the credit for doing what they should do to keep their husbands happy.

Pastor