Husband wants me to act like my mother

August 11, 2022

Dear Pastor,

My father is 75 years old and my mother is 73. During the pandemic, my mother told me that she missed going on dates with my father.

My mother used to like dressing up and going out somewhere with my dad. My father never missed my mother's birthday and on their anniversary, he always bought something different for her. They have been married for over 30 years. My husband said that he would love to see us live like my parents. I don't know if that will happen because my husband is very miserable. My father is not like that. My husband does not even like when I wear make-up. My dad is not against my mother wearing make-up.

My mother has long hair but I don't like long hair, so I cut mine and my husband made a fuss over that. I like to comb my mother's hair. My father still likes to come in and play with my mother and call her sweet names. He never calls her by her given name. He has different names that he calls my mother, and she is always responding lovingly. If my father has to go out, my mother stays up late until he gets home. My husband would love me to do things like that. But I told him that I am a different person and he should not expect me to be like my mother.


Dear E.W.,

You are what you are, and it's unfair for your husband to want you to be like your mother. Now that the COVID restrictions have been lifted, your parents can date again. At least you cannot say that you have not learned anything from your parents. They are in their 70s, but the love they have for each other has not died.

You say that your husband is miserable. I get the impression that that you are miserable, too. Your mother does everything to please your father. At least you should try to please your husband and stop complaining.


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