Don’t want an old man for a husband

October 30, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I am living with a man; he is twice my age. He is everything to me. He started to have a relationship with me when I was 16. My mother and father knew about it.

But I remember my mother saying to him that she couldn't stop the relationship because she couldn't tell me who to love, but he should try not to get me pregnant. My mother sells in the market. I used to go to the market to be with my mother and this man stopped me from doing so. We started living together. I don't need anything.

On Saturdays, he takes me to the market to see my mother and we buy foodstuff from her and he gives her money for her pocket. Last Christmas, my mother and my siblings spent the Christmas with us and he bought gifts for all of them. My mother told me that she never knew I would be so fortunate. But Pastor, there is a problem with this man.

He was married and he and his wife broke up. She knows about me because she called me and spoke to me. She told me I should take care of him because she is the one who made a terrible mistake. She got pregnant for another man and he told her that she had to leave. She tried to get back together with him but he did not want her back.

They are now divorced. But he paid for her to go back to school. He said that he would get married again but not before he is 60.


Dear V.B.,

So I am assuming that you are concerned that this man is not prepared to get married again until he is 60 years old because his ex-wife cheated on him.

Is it that you are also concerned that if he is serious about not getting married again, you would be stuck with him and he will be a very old man by the time he is ready to get married? Although he divorced his wife, he helped her to go back to school. That is not unusual for some men to do. You should try your best to get an education while you are with him.

Your mother seems to be very happy with the relationship you are having with him and he seems to be a man of means. He is not only taking care of you but he is assisting in supporting your mother. Make sure that you are not satisfied with the position you are in; you need an education. So decide what you want to do and head back to school. This man, I am sure, would pay for your schooling.


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