Abused by an older man

October 28, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I saw your number while I was reading one of your columns, so I decided to write to you. I honestly don't know how to start. I am 15 years old and I am emotionally stressed out.

I am talking to this man who is in his late 30s. I love him a lot, and I just cannot get over him no matter how I try. I want to stop talking to him, but the more I tell myself that I am going to stop, the more I continue to talk to him. Whenever I go to see him, or he calls me, it is like I am weak towards him and I don't have any options.

The problem that I am having with him these days is that he is very disrespectful towards me. He keeps saying things to hurt my feelings and sometimes he says that he doesn't care. I cry and I pray that God will help me to forget about him. But I don't see anything happening.

When we first started to have a relationship, he was very good to me. We are sexually involved. I do not regret us having sex. I really need some advice as to how to let go.

I do not want the relationship to affect my studies online. I don't want the relationship to prevent me from concentrating on my schoolwork.

This guy is trying to use me. He only calls me when he wants something. The only time he texts or calls me, is when he wants sex. I want someone apart from my parents to love me.

Most times I am very clingy and I have always been jealous. He does things and I can't say anything about it. The last time I saw him, he had the audacity to tell me that I am his number one side chick, and that he has a girlfriend; which I found out to be true. She is 18. I was not surprised. He is sticking around her for now. Please tell me what to do. Thank you, sir.

Initial Withheld By Request

Dear Writer,

I would like my readers to know that I was able to talk to the writer of this letter. I will do my best to help her. She is an intelligent girl, but she has been abused by this man.

I beg you not to condemn her. She doesn't need our condemnation; she needs our prayers, above any other thing. Yes, she has been naive.

But sometimes when young people do not have proper parental guidance, they do wrong things. That is why this man was able to take advantage of her and to fool her.

One thing I know that this young girl can do is not to respond to any of his texts and not to visit him at all. She can block him. She should not take any gifts at all from him.

She has her goals. I believe that with the help of God, she will pass her exams, go to university, graduate, and will do her best to make Jamaica a better place.

I ask Christians everywhere to pray for her. I want that man to realise that although this young girl has been having sexual intercourse with him, he can get into serious trouble because she is only 15, and under the law, she cannot consent.

We are going to do our very best the help this young girl. Please pray for her.



EDITOR'S NOTE: If you are a victim of a sexual crime, you should contact the Centre for Investigation of Sexual Offences and Child Abuse (CISOCA). The investigators can be reached at (876) 926-4079.

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